This sob has two options. He can abide by the rules and regulations of the TPT. Or he can abide by the rules and regulations of the TPT after I abide this Louisville Slugger to his head. The choice is his.

Yesterday’s comments by TPT Press Spokesman, The_Gov, were meant to move past the issues of the previous week’s tour.

I would like to allay all qualms of this evening’s event by saying that Street3 promises to behave accordingly.

But alas, the comments did not have the desired effect.

Speaking at another press event, The_Gov proposed that Street3 go through a bioidentical hormone replacement. This preventive medical approach or hormone therapy helps put an end to suffering and effects caused by stress induced adrenal fatigue and andropause (the male menopause), which physicians of the TPT might be the issue. By using natural hormones, Street3 could be a less stressed player at the table.

The expletives and finger pointing started up after Street3 dropped out of last week’s event. His flopped trip jacks were no match for his opponent’s flopped straight and he let everyone know what he thought of that situation. Players and the TPT President attempted to calm him down, but a half liquored up Street3 was having none of it. That is when the threat occurred and security was called in to resolve the situation.

Speaking at a hastily convened 7:45pm EST news conference, Twitter Poker Tour Press Spokesperson, The_Gov, stated

Street3 is an exciting player and has a lot of potential on this tour. But in no way should an official, player, or bystander of the Twitter Poker Tour ever feel physically or emotionally threatened. His behavior is inexcusable and we have fined him the maximum amount at this time.

I will not be answering any questions from the press at this time. Thank you.

Street3 could not be reached for comment at this time.

Mark my words, I will do a shot of Jagermeister for every registration in this week’s Twitter Poker Tour event! I love this stuff and can easily do 20 or more of these shots, no problem.
-Graham Beasley, President of the Twitter Poker Tour

Various third party sources can verify this statement offered by Mr. Beasley last evening at the South Boston institution, The 6 House. One source, DC Goodson told the PokerPlasm News Network,

he [Mr. Beasley] was blown away, the guy was throwing back way too many shots and was getting in people’s faces. I hope he has to do all those shots.

The statement became a common occurrence as the clock pushed the 1am mark. On average, most Twitter Poker Tour events have had 20 or more registrations. At the time of this release, the Twitter Poker Tour press spokesman has not returned our phone calls or emails.

So if you want the President of the Twitter Poker Tour to get unbelievably sick, then please register and play tonight!

Poker Site: PokerStars
Tournament Name: TPT Stars #3 $5+.50
Buyin: $5 + $.50
Game: Holdem
Limit: No Limit
Password: Click Here
Date: 12/4/08
Time: 9:00 PM Eastern
Bonus: $5 Bounty on atte-D2 (attetude)

Remember, if you have any questions relating to the tour, there are a few ways to you can get the answers.

• Contact the tour directly.
• Use the the hashtag, #tpt on twitter, and the loyal following will answer your question.
• Finally, depending on the which week the tour is playing at, you can contact that week’s tournament director. At Full Tilt Poker, contact PokerPlasm or at Poker Stars, contact CompletePokerRules.