Tolstoy Tips Hat To Poker Extraordinaire, Tim Waterton

published on 02/12/10 at 9:06 am

Tolstoy Tips Hat To Poker Extraordinaire, Tim Waterton

No introduction was needed for this interview, as Tim Waterton set the poker interview bar to unparalleled heights. Our “man”, Street3, was there to listen to Mr. Waterton’s eloquent story-telling.

So, Mr. Waterton.  You are known as “swyyft” on all poker sites and twitter and god knows what else.  Where did you get that name?
Because of how fast I can blow Mrs. Carse’s face.  Naw, just kidding (sort of), I got it when I was playing football. I am a big guy. I am not quick however. In fact out of 100 people playing football I was often one of the 3 slowest. They nicknamed me Big Swift because of how slow I was as a sort of ironical nick name. The coaches found this out and laughed and just started calling me swift for fun. When I started getting into Online Gaming and names, I wanted the name swift because It was what every one called me. However being quite common place I decided to use yy instead of I because it looked cool. (Still does IMO) thus Swyyft was born. I know its always available so and since i do not want have 30 different logins I just kept using it. It has been with me for about 9 years now.
Okay, now that that nonsense is out of the way, let’s talk poker.  Online or live and why?
I prefer online. I am not a big live person, I think live is fun but a lot of my game is about isolating a player. This is quite a bit harder live than it is online. A lot of people come along for the ride. It does not fit my game well. I am also ok losing several buy ins before making moves. I like to gamble and be aggressive early and set a tone to get big hands paid off later. You do not do this as much in a live game. It can also get boring to me, I get distracted easily. I however can give the same stare to these players when they do something stupid that Kobe Bryant and Peyton Manning give their teammates when they lose the game for him.

I prefer online for several reasons, You can multi table like no other. This means constant action. It also allows me to keep my variance as low as possible even though due to my style I am a high variance player. I have had +15k+ months and -10k Months. Great example is I was +3k one week this month and then down 2k the next week. The downswings really have nothing to do with the cards though and more to do with how focused I am at the game. When I am on top of my game I feel I can hang in almost every tournament. Last night I went deep in a tourney. (Busted 45th or so of 1999 players) Not because of my cards. I got AJ 3x and 88 and 77. Other than that I got no good hand out of 132 hands or so after the bubble broke. Going from 300th to 45th when I was a mid stack at 300th is quite hard when you go card dead. I was able to get someone to call off 30 BB with A8 vs my AJ and I 4 Bet shoved 2 times with KJ and J6 and both times got the 3 better to fold. I had no doubt they were folding based on exact reads. One guy folded TT vs my J6 and not sure what the other guy folded. Being able to chip up and add 15+ big blinds to my stack with nothing on good reads is what my game is all about. The problem with making plays like these is I am not always right. Which causes variance. the guy could have called off 45 bb with TT and Ko’d me in the tourney and no one would have thought much about it.

I ended up not final tabling because I just ran bad. I had a couple big pots go the other way. One was one where I was sure I was ahead unless the flush hit and then I had no idea. The flush did hit and he checked it down and I found out his AJ beat my A9 on an 8 board. Another one was a limp pot where a guy limped AK, the flop came Q23. I bet and he eventually 3 outted me later on. These too cost me to go from 7th in chips to 35th with about 46 left. Eventually I got it in AQ vs TT and lost a flip for a top 3 stack. If I win that flip I feel confident I can use my advantage to final table.
Cash/SNG/MTT? 9 handed or 6 max?
6 Max for sure. I think more flaws in your game are exposed in 6 max, which I can usually take advantage of. It’s pretty easy to hide flaws in a 9 max table. You do not get nearly as many blind vs blind/button situations which is a weakness for most players. People defend too much etc. I like both Cash and MTT, although I am not a winning player in NLHE cash games. I prefer PLO cash because the game is best played 100 big blinds deep, but what happens when you play good players is that it ends up being 200 big blinds deep once people lost buy ins and money gets traded around. That’s when the game becomes super intense and really becomes a thinking game. I like NLHE MTT though because they are the softest usually with people having no experience how to play the latter stages. Also I am a winning player at it lol.
How did you get your start playing poker?

3 Things.

  1. Coke Binge,
  2. Bad Black Jack Run, and
  3. Needed to kill 3 hours while the hooker was coming down back in the suite at the Venetian.

Who is better, you or a computer?  Me or you?  Me or anyone else?  Me or a dead donkey?  A dead donkey or a crippled blind fucktard? Me or a crippled blind fucktard?  Me or a rock?
You know, results wise I am quite a bit better, but the times I play my best, are when we are both playing and talking hands out. He provides a lot of insight and keeps me from doing stupid things. He is not afraid to tell me when I am playing bad and when my risk level of how I play goes too high and I need to tighten up and play better.

I think at times you play just as well as him but I think you have some leaks in your game. I do not think you exploit him as much as he exploits you. If you are sitting down at a 9 handed cash game table its tough to say who comes out on top. If you sitting down at a final table with 9 left and short stacks all around I think he is going to come out on top.

I think you are better than you think you are, I just don’t think you have confidence sometimes when you are playing against other good players you should have. I think you don’t stop and think about what you are doing. I think if you just quit doing anything instantly and thought out every hand out late in Tourneys and SNG you would get better. Always think about what you have and what they have and apply it to the hand. Don’t just snap doing things. Always let the FTP clock start, telling you, you have 15 seconds left and you will definitely start getting better results. Sometimes I watch you and know you have no idea if you are good or not and you just bet at it instead of thinking about it and betting at it confidently.
Online poker is RIGGGGGGGGED?  True or False and why?
False, there are a ridiculous amount of analytical programs out there and I even use one once in a while. The numbers come out exactly how they should. I think players just are not good enough when it comes to online and don’t adjust properly to the online games. Just because you can crush your home game or go to your local casino and win at 2/5 does not mean you can get online and beat 100 Max like that. The online games are much more fierce. The great players know where they stand as far as other players go. So many bad players never go out and learn the game and learn just how deep the game goes. They simply look at their cards and decide they have the best hand they should win all the time. One of the reasons these players never get sick results and are always losing is because they rely on big hands to build a stack. They might always be getting it in as a 70/30 but they also might be doing it for their tourney life every time. 
What’s your biggest cash?
$8500. I finished 3rd in the 10RA 80k on stars. 
Boobs or Ass?  Examples of each are provided.
Ass fo sure. Its way more fun in the long run. But I really don’t care. I can have fun with both. Butt sex with girls is always fun though. Or in your case butt sex with dudes.
You have lived all across the United States.  Which city/state has the best/worst women and why?
When I rate the states I rate them by how easily it is for me to bang hot girls.

  1. LA. LA has some ridiculously hot women. Like off the charts smoking hot. There are 2 scales you use to define women. The 1-10 scale and the LA 1-10 scale. LA is nothing but 9s from the south/midwest/east that come out here and realizes they are a 6. Everyone who told them they were pretty back in there home towns has never seen the level of attractiveness LA girls have. You look on TV an see these smoking hot girls on TV shows. Like every tv show has attractive people. It’s not like they are using the only attractive people in the city. Those people make up 1% of the attractive females. If you go to a casting for a show like The OC, There are nothing but girls just as attractive as Mischa Barton. 100s lined up. This allows guys like me, pull tail so far out of my league its not funny. I don’t think I could go back to living in a city where I had to hook up with average girls. The problem with attractive girls in smaller cities is that they are all stuck up cause every guy hits on them and they get used to it.
  2. Miami. Miami might overtake LA one day and is for sure ahead of it in natural  beauty and pleasantness. Miami gets a lot of South American women who are in my opinion the most attractive women in the world. If I had to find a wife tomorrow I am finding some Colombian/Argentian/Brazillian in Miami and going to have as many kids as possible. Also Miami is somehow chiller than LA. The problem is, its humid as fuck so I cant deal with that.
  3. Let me start by saying the drop off from 2 to 3 is pretty ridiculous. But Dallas has some smoking hot girls, Same with Austin because of UT. These girls get bonus points because they are wholesome and fun loving. Also I like dominant loud women so Texas is full of them.
  4. San Diego. San Diego is a chill place with a lot of smoking hot girls. Its a beach town so everyone is in crazy shape. One time we were down there and my friends hooked up with these really good looking 38 year old broads. They were day tripping from LA. Long story short. They needed a place to stay, but we really did not want to put up with them overnight. So we made them sleep on the streets of San Diego downtown cause they had no money. Lol.
  5. Idaho and Utah have some smoking hot girls. And they wholesome. Unlike most of the other cities I mentioned. Its because they are Mormon and don’t really destroy their bodies trying to dick. They are also very naive which works out. They love out of towners because they can keep the veil of innocence because no one will find anything out. I know a lot of people who frequent these places call the women in Idaho. I-Da-Hoes. These girls get all that tension out on you, if you are just visiting for business/pleasure. I spent some decent time in Sand Point, Park City and Coeur D’Alene in Utah and Idaho and have some decent stories we will get into another time. Again Me pulling tail out of my league.

5 worst.*

  1. Pennsylvania. I dare you to think of a hot girl you know from Pennsylvania.
  2. New England States. I dare you to find me a hot blonde who sports a Red Sox hat Pre 2004.
  3. Iowa, I went to visit my parents and did not want to bang one girl the whole time I was there.
  4. Oregon/Washington Even the big cities have a hard time representing. Women are too outdoorsy and manly.
  5. Oklahoma. Girls allow you to sleep with them there, thus the risk of crossing bodily fluids with @street3 through 6 degrees of separation is way to high.

* Alaska would be number 1 but due to the fact it has no women, I cannot count it. Its why jordie21 wants to move there so bad. Its his utopia.

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6 Responses to “Tolstoy Tips Hat To Poker Extraordinaire, Tim Waterton”

  1. Geoff Manning - @cprpoker

    Feb 12th, 2010

    Holy smokes, epic!

  2. Swyyft

    Feb 12th, 2010

    I tried to make it a good mix of poker/hilarity. I hope everyone enjoyed it. I did put some good thought into it.

  3. admin

    Feb 12th, 2010

    Hands down, the top 5 best interview ever on PokerPlasm.

  4. Rich Tucker

    Feb 12th, 2010

    Funny shit guys… I agree…Online is much better than Live…but my reason is I have no Poker Face. I get AA and you know it.


  5. Swyyft

    Feb 12th, 2010

    If you have any questions you want me to answer in part 2. Just leave the ? in the comments and when I will add them to part 2. I am pretty much done with it already.

  6. Ashley Landis

    Apr 2nd, 2010

    Great interview. I don’t imagine you did too well picking up poker the first time on a coke binge tho. :p

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