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Chris Hiter Calls For Independent Review of Carbon Poker

published on 02/22/10 at 1:07 pm

Online poker player, Chris Hiter, has called for an independent review and audit of Carbon Poker’s payment withdrawal process, in the wake of several lengthy delays through the mail. The time between that final payment submission click and the eventual check in a mailbox is pushing eight weeks on average, far greater than the usual four to six weeks in 2009.

In a prepared statement, Mr Hiter discussed the episode with member of the media.

“There was a utopia in the life of internet poker. There was a world where I could go on a heater and within 24 hours have that money at my disposal. A run of good cards could mean that Candy at “All Nude” could help pay for Med school with all the poker winnings. I made it rain on her.

NOW…well now, if you get your money within a month, it is a miracle at Carbon. Truly Carbon is a direct cause of my blue-balls. I know how the poor feel waiting for their monthly food stamps as I always spent my money on the morally loose women of Chicago (helping one single mom at a time)…but now I feel like I am starving waiting for my next stripper fix because Carbon is making promises they can’t hold.

It all starts with a promise of 2-3 weeks. It’s like Christmas is near when I make those withdraws but Carbon is the Grinch and promising gifts that never get there. I have waited up to 8 weeks to receive my money now. There is no instant gratification with Carbon anymore and they refuse to ever give any answer explaining the reality of where my money is.

Truthfully, I think someone at Carbon has a Midget fetish and blew all the money at Midgets Pornucopia and now the site is just a pyramid scheme. The one good thing is that I am in talks with Carbon as we speak of making Hooker transfers a reality.”

Carbon Poker’s only response to Mr. Hiter has been through twitter. “I don’t have anything to do with processing, but I’ve heard of some industry-wide delays. GL with the hooker transfers,” commented an anonymous Carbon Poker employee.

Only time will tell when Mr. Hiter receives his check in the mail.

But during this time, we plan on assembling a Poker Board of Review to work with Carbon Poker on determining arrival times for checks and increasing customer guidance. We can only hope that Carbon Poker will work with this board and better the poker industry as a whole.

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